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Will You Be My “It’s Complicated”?

We’d like to share with you another excerpt from our new book. This one is pulled from Chapter Eleven: “Will You Be My It’s Complicated? How to Just Say No to the Wrong Kind of Relationships.”

Let’s Play Romance

There are plenty of people who have technically kissed recreational dating goodbye, but are still looking for romantic flings outside of marriage. They want the fun of being in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships without purpose or commitment. Enter flirtship, the popular new alternative to dating and courtship. It’s like dating, only you don’t go out – you use email, chat, or phone, or just pair off whenever you’re in the same vicinity. Either way, you’re definitely – though not officially – well, apparently, anyway – boyfriend and girlfriend. … Read more →

Girl-Guy Relationships
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Emotional Purity Revisited

We’re excited to share with you a number of excerpts from our new book. These next few chunks were pulled from “Chapter Seven: The Heart: Victim or Perpetrator? Getting Your Heart to Follow YOU.”


Emotional Purity Revisited

We’re very grateful for the groundwork that has been laid by the Emotional Purity advocates, people who first began to seriously address the problem of handing out bits of our heart with reckless abandon. We, for two, needed to hear about the concept of guarding our hearts, keeping our emotions under control, and being faithful to our future husbands in thought and deed. But we believe this foundation needs a little more built onto it. For many, the concept raised more questions than it answered. … Read more →

Girl-Guy Relationships
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Why So Complicated?

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Boy-girl relationships are hard. They’re hard because they’re made of people, not mathematic equations, formulas, or quantifiable factors like numbers. When talking about relationships, we’re dealing with fluctuating factors like motives, irrational feelings, and a nature that was made by God to be one way and twisted by sin to be another. Numbers are easy because they are predictable, but the heart, as Jeremiah 17:9 says, “is deceitful above all things… who can understand it?” And if one person wasn’t complicated enough, just add another person, multiply their sin natures, and we’ve got an equation too hard to solve in our own strength. When we do try to boil these relationships down to simple rules and formulas, they can come out looking something like the diagrams below. Because when it comes to each of these quandaries of the heart… it’s just (not that) simple.

Here are some drawings that didn’t make it onto the cover of It’s (Not That) Complicated, but we wanted to share with you anyway:

comic3 comic5 comic1 comic2 comic7

Girl-Guy Relationships
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Have You Ever Wondered…

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“My biggest concerns are how should I even treat boys period? I have
no idea how to act around them…I know I should be myself but, besides
that…”

“I’m not around a lot of young men, so when I am in a group with one,
it gives me the jitters. How do I act natural?”

“Is it a good idea to be good or close friends with a guy? And if you
do sense yourself beginning to be interested in someone, is it an
option to try to get to know them better, or should you keep things
the same and wait for the guy to make the first move?”

“If I say ‘hi’ and strike up a conversation is he going to think that I
am too forward, shouldn’t my kind of man be the first to speak, and
what will others think of what I do?”

“Where do you draw the line between being friendly, which is okay, and
being flirty, which is (presumably) not okay?”

“…can you encourage a potential suitor to pursue you without being
flirty, forward, or inappropriate? …can you let them know you are
available in a God-honoring way without becoming the initiator?”

“What takes a girl from someone a man likes to be around, to someone
he wants to spend his life with? I see a lot of lists by girls about
‘my husband must be such and such.’ But it seems all I ever hear from
guys is ‘a godly lady.’ What does that mean to them?”

“If there is a particular guy that I have noticed, what is the best
way to deal with these feelings? And what should I watch out for when
I am around him/do to guard my heart?”



It’s (Not That) Complicated will explore all of these questions sent
in by our readers and many, many more. (And will, hopefully, make them
all seem a lot less complicated.)

For more information and to order a copy, visit NotComplicatedBook.com.

Ask A&EGirl-Guy Relationships
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It’s (Not That) Complicated: It’s Here!

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How do young men and young women interact with one another when marriage is not in view? Can young men and young women be ‘friends’? And how does a young woman guard her heart, preserve her purity, and walk in integrity without treating young men with disdain? In It’s (Not That) Complicated, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin address these and other questions with wisdom, grace, transparency, and biblical acuity.

— Dr. Voddie Baucham Jr.

We’re excited to announce that It’s (Not That) Complicated is now available! For more information and to order a copy, visit NotComplicatedBook.com, and don’t forget to check back in the coming weeks for excerpts and special features.

Girl-Guy Relationships
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Coming Soon: It’s (Not That) Complicated!

It's (Not That) Complicated cover

We’re excited to announce that our new book, It’s (Not That) Complicated: How to Relate to Guys in a Healthy, Sane, and Biblical Way, will be released on November 1st! Many thanks to all of you who wrote us with your ideas and questions; we wanted this book to be as timely and practical as possible, and we couldn’t have written it without your help.

Stay tuned – we’ll be posting updates, sneak peaks, and bonus features over the next couple of weeks!

Botkin ProjectsGirl-Guy Relationships
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We’re Writing Another Book

writing-book

It’s been over five years since we released So Much More, and since then, we’ve seen much, heard much, done much, and learned much. And we’ve decided it’s time to write another book. The topic, this time, is relationships with boys. What we need now is for you, dear readers, to give us your feedback! What information would you most like to see in a book on this topic? What questions would you most like answered?

What do you think are the biggest issues girls deal with regarding young men?

Their biggest questions about proper guy-girl interaction?

Their biggest fears regarding relationships, marriage, and singleness?

Things they’ve always wanted to know about the young man’s perspective?

The most complicated relationship situations they face?

What lessons have you learned that you would most like other girls to hear about?

Please send your feedback on any or all of these questions to us at damselsATvisionarydaughtersDOTcom.

We’re eager to hear from you soon! This is an exciting project, and your help with it will be invaluable.

Botkin ProjectsGirl-Guy Relationships
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Our Favorite Married Couples Speak On Marrying Well

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Over the past year and a half we have had the privilege of watching two of our brothers humbly and prayerfully consider the decision to marry their future brides. Their examples have taught us a lot about discerning the Lord’s will and studying Scripture for answers to the many questions that surface along the way. We’re excited to announce that our father, Geoffrey Botkin, and our dear mother Victoria will be joining David & Nadia and Ben & Audri for a five-week webinar discussing marriage–and the challenges and joys of getting there. Find out more at westernconservatory.com!

Botkin ProjectsGirl-Guy Relationships